Thursday, August 4, 2011

Girl Swag

~A: WARNING: Ben is both amused and outraged, so watch out for shifts of tone.

Okay, really? 'Friday' was just plain silly and fun. Of course I want to know which seat Rebecca Black is going to take (like she really has options anyways. THERE'S NO ROOM IN THE FRONT!). And it provided a great song to fuel high school proms across the nation.

But apparently Friday is soooooooooooo last season. The producers of the spring's smash hit have been searching for a new "talent" (like they need singing abilities with all that auto-tune) they can exploit and create a new one-hit wonder. Heaven forbid they find someone with real skill that can become a lasting pop icon. Oh wait, what's that? Apparently a little thing like "skill" isn't necessary to become a musical artist nowadays.

Enter Madison Bray. First off, how dare you besmirch the good name of 'ol Jimmy! Though Bray probably is taller than James Madison. I could totally see him kickin' it with her posse. I'm sure back in the day he got his guy swag on all the time. Or wait, was that Ben Franklin? Probs both of them.

Okay, seriously. I have no interest in watching this trash. Where are the parents? I'm not some old man screaming at the youth from his rocking chair on the porch. This seriously disgusts me. I thought the entertainment industry wouldn't stoop any lower than 'Toddlers and Tiaras' (what is TLC's demographic for this? Pedophiles?), but then they come out with this. I don't need to see a 9 year-old gyrating on camera with her friends singing about getting her 'girl swag' on. What is girl swag? At least Rebecca Black was direct and wholesome in her songs ("gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal", "yesterday was Thursday", "tomorrow is Saturday").

All this makes me so nostalgic for the day when people with no vocal talents knew they had no vocal talents, but sang anyways.


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