Friday, October 5, 2012

On Being "Sick"

So my amazing wifey-poo forced me to go to the doctor after I've had a cough for 2 weeks.

Wifey-poo does not equal poopy cow on windshield

I tell them my symptoms ("I have a cough, that's about it"), the doctor looks concerned, then asks me to put on a face mask before telling me I might have this really dangerous and scary sounding "pertussis". Turns out that's whooping cough. Silly me for not getting this vaccine that came out in 2005 (I still don't understand why I wasn't given it when I got all my other shots when I left for college). Of course, the only way to officially diagnose this condition is to shove a q-tip up my nose to the back of my throat and spin it around for a bit. And the test costs almost 200 dollars. And since it takes 3 days to get the results, they'll put me on antibiotics and isolate me in my apartment anyways. So really, why would I want to go through this nasty sounding test?

Silly Obama, helping to provide affordable healthcare for the young and poor

Oh, it's free through my insurance you say? Well in that case, let's do this! I know, I know, I'm contributing to the increased cost of healthcare with all these unnecessary tests. I say, I'm a rational actor doing what's best for me, the rest of the country be damned! Also, the Mrs. would be annoyed if I didn't take the test.

So now, instead of cutting open my butt (that was last year), I get this tube shoved all the way up my nose. Seriously, you could probably see it when you looked in my mouth. Disgusting.

Yup, they did this.
My reaction
So now I'm stuck sitting around the apartment for 5 days, or until they get my test results back. And of course, Amanda's attitude is that "either you're sick and I'm going to treat you like a baby...

...or you're isolated and then I'm going to be mad that I can't go out anywhere and it's all your fault and I'm going to miss this awesome homecoming parade!"

Pikachu, I miss you!

Seriously, I'm the one potentially carrying this deadly disease, and it's all my fault Amanda doesn't get to see the parade. Who made me go to the doctor again?

This girl



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